[ shooting stars and satellites - journal ]

[ikigai.]

[div style="background=transparent; borderwidth=0px; bordercolor=; width: 420px; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 125%; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: black"][align=center]5/9/2039 | entry 1 | 17 days in northstar

it seems only logical to start a journal about my experiences in this new place. the only difficult part in the matter was finding a journal. now that i've finally found one, i'm excited to finally start writing. i feel like i'm a bit rusty when it comes to writing my thoughts, but i've missed it more than i'd like to admit.

so far, i've met a couple of interesting people these last seventeen days. meeting green calling him greenie doesn't sit right with me yet on that first day was interesting enough. however, there's more where he came from, that's for sure. they're all good folks, though. there's doesn't appear to be anyone here with ill will towards another. it's a nice change of pace to be able to be around these people. i'm still on edge around them, but i feel like as i get to know them, maybe someday i'll get to... trust most of them. who knows what the future holds, after all?

i like to think that i'm fitting in quite nicely. i don't want to speak too soon on things and say that i belong here. there's no feeling like the final pieces to a puzzle have been put together. however, i feel at ease. i feel welcome. i could almost say that i feel safe, here.. this, of course, is still up in the air-- but i feel like the longer i stay here, the more at home i will feel. again, time can only tell.

i'll come back with updates whenever i have the time, or possibly even leave little drabbles. we'll see.

- z

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okay so since z is a creative soul, loving writing and drawing and everything, i made this lil journal.
i'm going to have z make a couple journal entries just to kinda write about his progress in northstar and also as like a heartchart but without all the effort/coding. tracks and comments and everything are welcome af but who knows how long i'll stick with this.
we shall seeee

[ikigai.]

[div style="background=transparent; borderwidth=0px; bordercolor=; width: 420px; font-size: 8pt; line-height: 125%; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; color: black"][align=center]5/23/2039 | entry 2 | 31 days in northstar

today is a relatively bad day for my tremors, but there are numerous things i need to write about.

i’ve been here a whole month, now. it feels like a relatively small milestone, but i believe that it’s remarkable progress that i could’ve never expected. i still feel like i’m so far from assimilating in this group. yet, for once, i’m actually… trying to give myself reason to stay. given, it’s not as easy as it seems, simply writing it on this paper, but i feel like i’m making substantial progress. progress is progress. perhaps one day i’ll look back at this entry and realize how far i’ve come. until then, i feel like i’m almost at a standstill, hard as i try.

it’s been relatively quiet here these last couple of days. it’s good, though. it feels like i’m finally falling into a sort of routine, one that i never really thought i’d get the chance to settle into. after all these years of never knowing what to expect at the beginning and end of each day, it’s nice to finally know that at least i have a bed to come to at the end of it all. something i might have once taken for granted, had i not been put in this circumstance.

one notable event had to be the fireworks. yet another thing i once took for granted, and suddenly it’s all i can think about. the fireworks were absolutely beautiful, and while it had been to celebrate a liberation i wasn’t here for, it made me feel like i was part of something - beyond myself. all the people on the beach seemed incredibly close-knit, happy, celebrating… it feels weird to say, but a part of me.. almost wishes i could be part of that, too. i want to, actually, but it’s difficult. it’s even more difficult to explain, but, once again, perhaps this whole socializing aspect is something i should be working on.

i guess the message i’m trying to leave in this entry is that i’m making progress, and as hard as it is, it’s something i’ll continue to work on. not just for me, but for something beyond myself; all the people here. it’s the least i can do.