and they go, i hate to say i told you so - writing

[Legends]

thank you thank you crows it's this whole world in my head and im proud of it

too bad so sad

[Legends]

[align=center][div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"]
12:15AM / dirt prison
i swear, once you've dug your hole
it feels like there's no escape
eventually you sit and cry
watch your tears take shape

down in this hole you've dug
you sit alone as one
but lurking just beyond you
there's a whole for everyone

past those brown walls
which you've dug without intent
there's a person like you out there
planning their decent

you sit in your hole
believing you are alone
when really everyone else
is digging with broken bones

please take this into consideration
as you leave and go
that you are not the only one
who is trapped down in a hole

[Legends]

[align=center][div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"]12:22AM / watch for the boom and crash
i am a thunderstorm
made of dark clouds with purple hues
i have slashes of brightness every now and then
they have the power to kill you

i am a thunderstorm
i appear with little warning
not like they pay attention
they find my antics boring

i am thunderstorm
i alone look harmless and grey
just wait till i unleash my lighting
you said you weren't afraid

i am a thunderstorm
few genuinely enjoy my essence 
many, too many, hate me
ignore my self doubting presence

i am a thunderstorm
made from past heat
heat that rots the air and the people that breathe
they fail to see me

but i am a thunderstorm
and i am coming for them all

[Legends]

[align=center][div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"]SSE Avalanche to Base Tyrolean, come in Tyrolean / based off of this gif

log 001 - its been three days since my launch. i'm less lonely than i thought i'd be. its not so bad. i do miss everyone though, but dad would be so proud of me.

maybe i'll continue this but i wanted to put it out here for now

[Legends]

[align=center][div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"]journal entry no. 1 / i didn't write in my official journal because i was in the car

god. shit. i'm so incredibly angry. so so so just full of fire. this is freshman year all over again except now, mom knows. she knows im a negative black hole that only takes in negatively and never lets anything go. and she's not making things better by calling me out. i can't have another freshman year. i don't even know if doing therapy is helping me. i certainly don't thing repressing everything was the way to handle things two years ago and i doubt it'd help me now. i bet it'd help other people though because i'd finally shut up. but i'm not sure anymore. i thought therapy was helping. maybe i'm just going through a cleanse type thing and getting all of my fire out into the open before it gets rained on and smolders away. maybe therapy hasn't helped at all and now the fire has just grown and i just didn't realize until the firemen showed up to put it out because it's bothering other people. maybe it was always there and that nice pit in my stomach is the entrance to a depressed hell full of a storm the size of the one that haunts the face of jupiter. 

the election hasn't helped. the orange toddler just makes me angry, but it's an empty anger. empty like a opera singer singing alone in carnegie. a giant room where the loudest voice is just lost into empty seats because no one is listening. that anger in the worst because i scream and i scream but no one listens to me, or it feels that way anyway. i know that there are people who agree with my opinions on politics but every time i voice something in the subject no one wants to talk with me, and that is an isolating feeling. i've been self-taught that i shouldn't talk, lego should just shut up because no one wants to listen away. well, fuck that idea. i still don't talk though, but fuck that idea.

nowadays im angry at myself a lot, although it's just self-esteem and cliche teen issues that need to be fixed were caused by the corporations that have caused me to feel out of place next to my tall thin friends. speaking of them, they are the most naturally pretty, a simple kind of pretty that requires little makeup or preparation. i do not have that luxury, i feel like an old galleria dress, one that was once pretty at some point but now sits in the closet, becoming dusty and sad and out of date. isn't that funny, im sixteen and i already have the mentality that i've passed my heyday. that's just sad. gotta fix that

this is a journal entry that may not ever get a sequel, depending on if even learn how to stop channeling jupiter's storm, and starting channeling something or someone else.

[crows]

<333 leggy i love you man
feel free to rant to me about politics we'll both cry about orange together

[arrow]

seconding crows here and sending u lots of love and hugs bc i don't know exactly what you're going through ofc but you voiced so many things? that i also feel and also cause me distress?? and yet you made it so pretty bc your writing is frackin Good omf. but mainly lots of love and idek if knowing i have similar feelings is helpful bc i am Mess but for what it's worth

[woodsy]

<333 leggy i love you man
feel free to rant to me about politics we'll both cry about orange together

<333 leggy i love you man
feel free to rant to me about politics we'll both cry about orange together

<333 leggy i love you man
feel free to rant to me about politics we'll both cry about orange together

<333 leggy i love you man
feel free to rant to me about politics we'll both cry about orange together

Trump gives The Annoying Orange a new meaning

[Legends]

you guys
you're going to make me cry
you're so nice and you make me so happy

[Legends]

[align=center][div style="0px; width:400px; height:auto; text-align: justify; font-size: 8pt; line-height:13px;"]2:05PM / im not sure why i wrote this but i wanted to write it

i just read something on instagram that said

"summer:
hair is lighter
skin is darker
water is warmer
drinks are colder
music is louder
nights get longer
life gets better"

um, no. it feels like it should be but no. its more like this,

"summer:
in the summer my skin is sticky and i hate my thighs
its too hot and my depression is back disguised as butterflies

my pale has burned off and i no longer feel safe
unfinished school assignments haunt my lazy days

teenage angst seems to set most free
they leave to visit malls and parties and pools without me

i swear summer is not better, not by a longshot
but school feels so much worse, so i'll sit here in the hot"