shadow and grea ramble at each other for 2 years

[Shadow]

"I just... Wanted to make sure you knew it was just a joke too"

And peter is def the type of person who would do that sort of stupid shit

also now i have an au list idk why
Bartender AU
Soulmate AU
Magic AU
Model AU
Military AU
College AU
Cop and Robber AU
Criminals AU
Fantasy AU
Hostage AU
Time Travel AU
Spy AU
Cowboy AU
Librarian AU
Roommate AU
1920′s AU
Mechanic AU
Office AU
Greaser AU
Wild West AU
Private Detective AU
Mafia AU

[BORZOI]

"it's okayyyyyyy I know"

Peter is a good boy

wow I can think of little prompts for most of those djdgdkd

[Shadow]

"do you though. do you, benjamin?"

peter is an okay boy

t e l l  m e

[BORZOI]

"yes, i know, it's okay i promise"

he's a good boy i swear

"why do you come in here every day? and why are you always drunk before you even sit down?" "i'm not drunk, i'm blind." "...okay ignoring that question, my previous question still stands."

"whoever keeps throwing paper into my cubicle i swear to fucking god." "i wonder who—" "i knOW IT'S YOU, PETER." "...shit"

"i came to rob your house but... you're kind of cute." "GET OUT WHAT THE FUCK" "i was trying to tell you i woULDNT ROB YOUR HOUSE" "THAT DOESNT MAKE A DIFFERENCE CONSIDERING YOU BROKE INTO MY APARTMENT??" "DO YOU WANT TO GO TO DINNER" "I WILL IF YOU LEAVE" "I'M OUT THEN"
the next day: "so you tried to rob me" "i did" "...that's kind of hot"

no dialogue but there's a robbery and benjamin is taken hostage w/ a gun to his head but peter saves the day by flicking the bullet away before it hits ben's skull and ben is just INCREDIBLY shook after that

"so, class, today you will be painting a nude model"
benjamin: exists
"...............professor i'm too gay to do this project"

theres a FEW

[Shadow]

"are you sure? i feel like you don't mean that"

i'm crying @ the model one ok

"so you're my new rommate? and you're....blind?"
*peter frantically baby-proofs the apartment*

"wait so i was supposed to spy on someone but you're a spy too and now we're in some sort of pseudo-war over who's the better spy"
OR
"what do you mean you're a spy you can't even see"

private detective au with peter and ben as partners
"where's the dead guy?"
"uh, ben, you're standing on him"
"oh  s h i t shit shit"

[BORZOI]

"peter it's fine i promise"

me too honestly

oh my god i love all of these im crying

[Shadow]

"but iS IT" peter would not stop until ben admitted it wasnt ok

to add on to that robber au
"you found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don’t want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don’t want to go to jail and also you’re kind of cute we should make out when i’m not clinging onto your window ledge for my life"

and also
"why are you dancing in your underwear to kelly clarkson in a public bathroom while brushing your teeth"
all this makes me think of is an au where peter's mom finally has enough and kicks him out and he... does not take it well

[BORZOI]

benjamin would legitimately think it was okAY THOUGH
he would have been joking too im crying
he would probably end up shaking peter's shoulders like "i M OK A Y PE T ER C H I LL O U T"

HAH
"who.....why are—what"
"...please help"
"how the fuck did you get up here it's like ten stories? ? ? ? ? ?"
"i'll explain later p le a se"

well, what doesn't kill him makes him stronger
omfg tho ben would be entirely confused
he would just be like "can you not do this at your...your own house"

[Shadow]

peter would still try to make him say it
until ben shook him then he'd be like "O K AY B E N LETME GO"

"please just let me in i can explain everything"

or just hurts him
he'd just be frozen in shock tbfh
"i... don't have a house...?"

[BORZOI]

he would never say it
no self-hate for u peter pan

Ben heaves him up and he's just
"now how in the fuck did you do that"

>:{}
Omfg Ben would feel bad
he'd be like damn......I insulted a homeless person time to do something nice just to seem like less of a douchebag
"Oh,, uh sorry, it's just 3 am and I didn't expect to uh—well. do you need a place to sleep?? it's going to get really fucking cold tomorrow night"