shadow and grea ramble at each other for 2 years

[Shadow]

darn
peter would keep trying until ben told him to give up

peter would just flop on the floor
"uh... well, you see, i was going to rob you but then i slipped and fell and barely caught myself and i'm sorry but i didn't steal anything and that's what matters"

;^))
h e h
peter would just "uh yeah sure that would be nice thank you random cute guy"

[BORZOI]

he would definitely tell him to give up
also shower him in sly compliments

omfg
"you...........were trying to rob me. well, okay then, back to the window you go" and he starts nudging him with his foot toward the window

ajkshfkjashf "random cute guy"
imagine he did sleep in his house tho and like benjamin lowkey locked him in one room just to make sure he can't get out and like kill him or steal something smfh
"did you just lock the door"
"you're a stranger"
"BUT I SUDDENLY NEED TO PEE"
"oh my g o d"

[Shadow]

peter would eventually just start complimenting him back even more lmao
"you're the gayest dude i've ever met. you're great."

peter would honestly just be such a child in that au
he'd grab ahold of ben's leg and refuSE to let go
"nope nOPE NOPE"

:^)
peter would be lowkey worried that ben was trying to kidnap him or hold him prisoner or smth
"please let me out. or at least let me pee"
"o h  m y  g o d"
"i'll pee on your carpet i swear don't think i won't do it"

[BORZOI]

ben, jokingly insulted: excuse me I am not a stereotype u take that back

"LET GO YOURE TRYING TO STEAL FROM A BLIND MAN YOU CLEARLY DESERVE DEATH"

"I cant let you out please don't pee on my carpet"
"I  will pee on this carpet"
"PLEASE you're homeless?? I mean you could try and steal all my shit or kill me?? like what if you spent all your money on drugs and you're actually some batshit crazy cocaine addict?!?!?! LIKE I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO DEFEND MYSELF I CANT SEE?? ? ? ?? ?"

[Shadow]

”n e v e r”

“please no i’m sorry i’ll make it up to you I swear just don’t kill me”

“I don’t want your stuff. I just really want to be able to pee. You can—you can lock me back in after i’ve taken a piss. Come on, man, please.”

What is my life

[BORZOI]

dam hes gay

"how tf will you make it up to me, you're a roBBER?"

peter's main goal is to get to the bathroom smh

i don't know i've been asking myself that question for years

[Shadow]

where does all this gayness come from

"i can take you on a date, how about that"

yes exactly, even though ben found him in a bathroom

rip my phone just died

[BORZOI]

who even knows

"wh,, whA"

pretty much

oh no :^( I was just about to reply

[Shadow]

the gods know
they see all
hear all
smell all

"you're cute and saved my life. what can i say, i've got a thing for guys like you"

peter is a real mess in just about any au

it's charging rn and i'm gonna grab it in a little while so reply all you want lmao

[BORZOI]

GoD iSnT rEaL

"I STILL WANT YOU TO GO BACK OUT THE WINDOW"

so is ben tbh

LiT
but i think i actually gonna like....wait bc
i have a lot of threads to catch up on :^(( i have so many things to respond to im s t r e s s i n g