HIGH DIVE // O, STARGAZING

[ADDY.]

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— the beach was more enjoyable during the night for a few reasons. one of the reasons being that the sight was next to unbeatable; the other reason was that there were far less people out at that time. god knows addy didn’t want to deal with anyone unless he fucking had to, or so it seemed. he glanced out over the water from where he sat in the sand, drawing his knees up towards his chest. he should probably start working on being more kind to people, trying to make connections rather than being so goddamn defensive all the time.

though that shit didn’t happen overnight. stick in one hand, he absently etched random shapes into the sand in front of him. it was easier said than done to try and become a more genuine version of yourself. especially after that genuine side was overlooked time and time again in the past. what would make it any different, now? the redhead breathed a sigh before tossing the stick into a nearby, small fire he had started for light. fuck. why was there so much goddamn shit on his mind? why was he such a sensitive bitch when left to his own devices?

he turned his gaze back to the ocean and watched the waves, looked at the moon reflected in the dark waters. blame it on the night.

[LUCERNE.]

Addy could be mean sometimes. In fact, he was mean a lot of the time. Lucerne would know; Addy’s hurtful words had been directed towards him many times before. But, despite all of the times where Lucerne had admittedly felt somewhat hurt by the things Addy could say, there was no greater person he’d wish to share his life with. Sentiment was a dangerous conceptualization, and he knew for certainty that it was nothing but a trap, but what if he wanted to be caught?

How perplexing it was to change your ways to open your heart up for another.

The house felt vacant without Addy’s presence, a peculiar observation made by a man who’d so frequently disregard Addy’s company in the past. Nowadays, Lucerne would take notice of his absence (sometimes), and inadvertently search for him. Tonight, he chose to leave the comfort of their home, eyes shifting around as he quietly looked for Addy. Until, he paused by the beach, gaze landing on a silhouette sat in the sand.

Lucerne hesitated for a moment, brows bunching together thoughtfully before he wandered onto the sand, hands clasped behind his back as he neared Addy. Eyes flitted over his shoulder at the doodles in the sand, Lucerne blinking for a moment before commenting sarcastically, playfully, ❝ I didn’t take you as much of an artist. ❞ Keen observation; those doodles were horrendous. Lucerne paused for a moment before lowering himself nearby, shoulders slouching as fingertips glided across the sand. ❝ You’ve been out for quite some time. ❞ The closest Lucerne would get to saying that he had been getting worried about Addy.

[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family:verdana; font-size: 7px;"][spoiler=tags :: updated 12/08]basics.
⫸ wilhelm lucerne nouvel // no known nicknames
⫸ goes by his middle name, lucerne
⫸ male // he/him
⫸ thirty three // ages real time // born fourteenth february
⫸ medic for northstar district // formerly an officer in the badlands
⫸ joined BL - twenty first february
⫸ moved to ND - twenty sixth november
appearance.
⫸ faceclaim - benedict cumberbatch
⫸ voice claim - benedict cumberbatch
⫸ speaks with a received pronunciation british accent
⫸ 6'2ft // tall and lithe // very little muscle mass
⫸ cold, china blue eyes and disheveled, dark brunet hair
⫸ physical health - 100%
    ¬ current injuries: none as of now
⫸ mental health - 100%
    ¬ none

personality.
⫸ enigmatic and difficult to understand
⫸ astute and intellectual // generally very logical in his way of thinking
⫸ self-absorbed and overly prideful // massive god complex
⫸ lack of empathy and often insincere // evident sociopathic tendencies
⫸ assertive, blunt and arrogant // strong, unwavering opinions
⫸ analytical and perceptive // often good at figuring things out at breakneck speed
⫸ overly motivated and stubborn // it's often his way or the highway
⫸ chronic boredom, often acts out childishly based on this
⫸ fastidious and a known perfectionist
⫸ unpredictable and notably unhinged // makes it difficult to get on with him
⫸ a total narcissist in many ways
⫸ aloof and incredibly socially awkward // very antisocial in general
⫸ a complete drama queen // incredibly theatrical and melodramatic
⫸ breathes sarcasm // snide and often witty with his quips
⫸ silently a very sensitive and introverted soul // worries about what others think
⫸ self-conscious towards how people react towards him // this makes him withdrawn

relationships.
⫸ wilhelm nouvel x annette nouvel // one older brother [deceased]
⫸ aromantic asexual // not often interested in any romance
⫸ owns a dog named faline
⫸ has taken a liking towards addy douglas
    ¬ sees him as his person
    ¬ loyalty lies with him entirely

interaction.
⫸ storage // playlist // pinterest
⫸ physically: medium // mentally: hard
⫸ owns a pistol but finds the idea of injuring somebody very difficult
⫸ dislikes getting into physical fights as he's not very good at fighting
⫸ would much rather die than kill somebody else
⫸ TW. he is a recovering drug addict // cocaine, heroin and opioids such as morphine

[/spoiler]

[ADDY.]

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— there was a part of him that tried when it came to lucerne. lucerne usually got the brunt of his frustrations merely because he was always there, even while lucerne never deserved the harsh words in the first place. the redhead felt guilty at times when he thought of things he had said to lucerne in the past, things he had done. sometimes he looked back at them and could only laugh at the childishness of some parts. he had grown up, that was for sure. so, of course he tried to be better for lucerne. the only part about it was that those things tended to happen so effortlessly, without trying at all.

“i didn’t take you as much of an artist.” the sarcasm was enough for him to huff a short breath, shaking his head. “fuck you,” he remarked, though the words were said in too light of a tone to be taken seriously. “i could be the next picasso if i wanted to.” he paused for a moment, looking over towards the fire before adding as an afterthought, “minus the whole-- chopping off his ear thing. jesus.” wrong artist, but addy wouldn’t care to know that.

his eyes wandered towards lucerne at his next remark, looking over his features. how beautiful the man looked in the pale moonlight. his gaze lingered, lips parted slightly. had lucerne been worrying about him? “were you looking for me?” the redhead pursed his lips closed and looked out to the ocean. for some reason, the thought was so - heartwarming. while there didn’t seem to be a label on what they were… addy liked to think it was something special, far more than just friends. “do you think i’m a bad person?” a pause, then a quick interjection, “be honest.” odd of a request, he seemed serious. his gaze looked down to the sand, randomly etching random shapes in the sand as if to downplay his own thoughts.

[LUCERNE.]

❝ Fuck you. ❞ Lips threatened to curl into a broad smile as Lucerne looked down at Addy, quiet for a moment before chuckling lowly beneath his breath. A profanity from Addy always couldn’t be taken too seriously, Lucerne had learned over years of growing accustomed to the redhead’s very different way of life. The words itself could be hurtful, but it all was dependent on the tone of voice; Addy was happy to hear Lucerne’s voice, Lucerne liked to think.

He sat down next to him, quietly listening to Addy’s comparison to the distinguished artist, Picasso. Chopping off his ear… Lucerne’s brows bunched together briefly - did Addy enjoy being corrected by Lucerne or something? He had to be pulling his leg - before he chose to agree, head nodding thoughtfully, ❝ Yeah… That wouldn’t be a very bright idea. ❞ He was quiet for a while, contemplatively, before he added, ❝ Van Gogh- ❞ He stared at the fire, correcting shortly, ❝ Van Gogh cut his ear off. ❞

Face lit up from the fire which illuminated flickering flames across his features, deep in thought in the momentary silence before raising his head and peering over towards Addy at his question. Of course Lucerne had been searching for Addy; the evenings felt somber without him at home. Sharp blue eyes flitted over Addy’s features before shrugging halfheartedly. He couldn’t say that he hadn’t been looking for Addy, else Lucerne wouldn’t have been here. But, as usual these days, Addy had been on his mind.

❝ Do you think I’m a bad person? ❞ Lucerne frowned quickly. Now, where did that come from? Lucerne sighed, eyes involuntarily rolling as he looked away. Not because he was frustrated by the question, but because he should’ve realized sooner that there was a reason why Addy was out here alone at this time of night. There was something on his mind, something eating away at him. Lucerne spent some time to mull over the question quietly, chewing down on his lip in thought until, finally, he tipped his chin upwards.

❝ I think that… A good person may do bad things from time to time, but that by no means makes them a bad person- ❞ Lucerne turned his head to look towards Addy, ❝ It only makes them human. ❞ Although Lucerne’s answer was not direct, nor what Addy probably wanted to hear, he hoped that Addy would consider his words deeply. After all, he didn’t think that Addy was a bad person. In fact, he thought that Addy was one of the greatest people that he’d ever had the pleasure of knowing. Behind a bold exterior boasted a man so loyal and fiercely compassionate. A man that was nothing short of exceptionally goodhearted.

[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family:verdana; font-size: 7px;"][spoiler=tags :: updated 12/08]basics.
⫸ wilhelm lucerne nouvel // no known nicknames
⫸ goes by his middle name, lucerne
⫸ male // he/him
⫸ thirty three // ages real time // born fourteenth february
⫸ medic for northstar district // formerly an officer in the badlands
⫸ joined BL - twenty first february
⫸ moved to ND - twenty sixth november
appearance.
⫸ faceclaim - benedict cumberbatch
⫸ voice claim - benedict cumberbatch
⫸ speaks with a received pronunciation british accent
⫸ 6'2ft // tall and lithe // very little muscle mass
⫸ cold, china blue eyes and disheveled, dark brunet hair
⫸ physical health - 100%
    ¬ current injuries: none as of now
⫸ mental health - 100%
    ¬ none

personality.
⫸ enigmatic and difficult to understand
⫸ astute and intellectual // generally very logical in his way of thinking
⫸ self-absorbed and overly prideful // massive god complex
⫸ lack of empathy and often insincere // evident sociopathic tendencies
⫸ assertive, blunt and arrogant // strong, unwavering opinions
⫸ analytical and perceptive // often good at figuring things out at breakneck speed
⫸ overly motivated and stubborn // it's often his way or the highway
⫸ chronic boredom, often acts out childishly based on this
⫸ fastidious and a known perfectionist
⫸ unpredictable and notably unhinged // makes it difficult to get on with him
⫸ a total narcissist in many ways
⫸ aloof and incredibly socially awkward // very antisocial in general
⫸ a complete drama queen // incredibly theatrical and melodramatic
⫸ breathes sarcasm // snide and often witty with his quips
⫸ silently a very sensitive and introverted soul // worries about what others think
⫸ self-conscious towards how people react towards him // this makes him withdrawn

relationships.
⫸ wilhelm nouvel x annette nouvel // one older brother [deceased]
⫸ aromantic asexual // not often interested in any romance
⫸ owns a dog named faline
⫸ has taken a liking towards addy douglas
    ¬ sees him as his person
    ¬ loyalty lies with him entirely

interaction.
⫸ storage // playlist // pinterest
⫸ physically: medium // mentally: hard
⫸ owns a pistol but finds the idea of injuring somebody very difficult
⫸ dislikes getting into physical fights as he's not very good at fighting
⫸ would much rather die than kill somebody else
⫸ TW. he is a recovering drug addict // cocaine, heroin and opioids such as morphine

[/spoiler]

[ADDY.]

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— addy enjoyed lucerne’s company. they’d been together so goddamn long, the redhead wasn’t sure what he would’ve done without the occasional snarky crack from lucerne. to say he was dependent on the older sounded lame; addy didn’t think he would argue with the observation, though. he couldn’t picture a life without lucerne somewhere down the road, waiting for him to catch up. he couldn’t picture himself staying in the badlands while lucerne went in search of a different place. wherever lucerne went, addy followed. it had always been that way.

besides, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy this new chapter of his life for the most part. there was something in the way he got to head out of his room and know more than likely lucerne was in the same house. there was something about sitting on a couch, drinking some not-half-bad wine and talking quietly to lucerne. this new life was just - great. it was great.

he should have known from lucerne’s almost visible pause what was coming next. still, as he spoke - “van gogh-” he blinked. “van gogh cut his ear off.” he couldn’t help but furrow his brows, huffing a short breath. shaking his brows. “are you sure, smart ass?” he turned his gaze down to the stick in his hand, waiting before tossing it into the fire. “i’m pretty fuckin’ sure it was picasso.” he didn’t often stick to his guns; he wasn’t even sure it was picasso. but what the hell would lucerne do about it? he couldn’t prove him wrong.

he couldn’t keep what was on his mind to himself for long. there was only so much that he could keep to himself; sometimes he needed to get things off of his chest. he’d already gone and spilled all of his goddamn secrets to lucerne at this point - telling him he loved him, telling him just bits and pieces of his past. lucerne didn’t get it though. he was such a perfect fit in northstar. how could addy ever expect him to know what it felt like to be the misfit?

lucerne knew more about it than addy ever could.

still, something in lucerne’s words made his shoulders relax a bit. nodding to himself contemplatively. then, he huffed a short breath, smiling subtly to himself. “coming from the person who does everything right.” he pointed out and leaned back on the palms of his hands. he crossed his legs at the ankles. “you’re running the clinic. you’ve got friends here. everyone around fucking loves you...” the fondness in his eyes as he turned his head to look over at lucerne - it was a look that spoke louder than words. he liked to think that, of all the people who adored him, his love for the other man was far more evident. “who can blame them?”

still. in his words seemed to reveal what his own problem was. he just was a misfit wanting to fit in. wanted to be the piece of the puzzle that fit next to lu. maybe he already was but failed to know that.

[LUCERNE.]

And, inevitably, Lucerne’s response would - of course - be met with defiance from Addy. An amusing one, at that. Nowadays, it was easier to distinguish between what was meant to be taken lightly and what was meant to be serious - it was funny how context and the slightest shift in somebody’s tone of voice could indicate the seriousness of their words. Quite honestly, Lucerne struggled with Addy some days; his words were often so abrasive, so biting and confusing. Sometimes Lucerne questioned whether Addy even liked him some days. But, then again, the good always outweighed the confusion he felt.

In fact, he quite enjoyed whatever they had between one another, as perplexing and uncertain as it felt. For a man who felt obliged to always keep both feet on the ground, this leap of faith was certainly enthralling. ❝ Are you sure, smart ass? ❞ As Addy remarked, all Lucerne could do was chuckle to himself, shoulders shaking as a small closed-lip smile sat across his features. ❝ I wonder why he did it. ❞ Lucerne mused softly after he grew silent once more. ❝ The narrative has yet to be disputed, however it simply doesn’t seem to add up- ❞ He paused, brows bunched up. ❝ And why did he deliver the appendage to a woman… isn’t vehemence just absurd? ❞

And off he rambled, words probably going right over Addy’s head, Lucerne going quiet before turning to look towards Addy. ❝ Even though his work depicts displaced ears, it does not mean Picasso removed his own ear! ❞

Yet, perhaps his passion could not stray the conversation away from a more somber tone. No matter how desperately he wished to understand all of Addy, sometimes his mind was too complex even for Lucerne to grasp onto. The human mind - Lucerne’s own self-awareness would always be his greatest downfall. As much as he tried to sound comforting in what he said, nothing could reassure Addy enough, but he thought he’d qualmed his worries for a second there. Addy smiled for a moment.

But then, Addy began to talk. Lucerne looked up to stare at the starry sky. Well… yeah - Lucerne liked to think that he did everything right. He was more intelligent than the average person - it was a naive way of thinking. ❝ Everyone around fucking loves you... ❞ Lucerne turned his head to look over at Addy, and his eyes told Lucerne everything. ❝ Who can blame them? ❞ Lucerne watched Addy’s features silently for a moment before commenting matter-of-factly, ❝ That’s unfortunate for them. ❞ The slightest hint of amusement, Lucerne's lips threatening to curl into a smile.

He looked away quickly, eyes flitting down to observe the drawings in the sand, as he contemplated to himself for a long moment. ❝ I… don’t believe it’s about how many people love you, but how much they love you. You’re more loved than you’ll ever believe you are. ❞ He pointed out thoughtfully before looking back at Addy, and in that moment he hoped to hell that Addy pieced together Lucerne’s peculiar way of admitting his love for him.

[align=center][div style="width: 430px; text-align: justify; font-family:verdana; font-size: 7px;"][spoiler=tags :: updated 12/08]basics.
⫸ wilhelm lucerne nouvel // no known nicknames
⫸ goes by his middle name, lucerne
⫸ male // he/him
⫸ thirty three // ages real time // born fourteenth february
⫸ medic for northstar district // formerly an officer in the badlands
⫸ joined BL - twenty first february
⫸ moved to ND - twenty sixth november

appearance.
⫸ faceclaim - benedict cumberbatch
⫸ voice claim - benedict cumberbatch
⫸ speaks with a received pronunciation british accent
⫸ 6'2ft // tall and lithe // very little muscle mass
⫸ cold, china blue eyes and disheveled, dark brunet hair
⫸ physical health - 100%
    ¬ current injuries: none as of now
⫸ mental health - 100%
    ¬ none

personality.
⫸ enigmatic and difficult to understand
⫸ astute and intellectual // generally very logical in his way of thinking
⫸ self-absorbed and overly prideful // massive god complex
⫸ lack of empathy and often insincere // evident sociopathic tendencies
⫸ assertive, blunt and arrogant // strong, unwavering opinions
⫸ analytical and perceptive // often good at figuring things out at breakneck speed
⫸ overly motivated and stubborn // it's often his way or the highway
⫸ chronic boredom, often acts out childishly based on this
⫸ fastidious and a known perfectionist
⫸ unpredictable and notably unhinged // makes it difficult to get on with him
⫸ a total narcissist in many ways
⫸ aloof and incredibly socially awkward // very antisocial in general
⫸ a complete drama queen // incredibly theatrical and melodramatic
⫸ breathes sarcasm // snide and often witty with his quips
⫸ silently a very sensitive and introverted soul // worries about what others think
⫸ self-conscious towards how people react towards him // this makes him withdrawn

relationships.
⫸ wilhelm nouvel x annette nouvel // one older brother [deceased]
⫸ aromantic asexual // not often interested in any romance
⫸ owns a dog named faline
⫸ has taken a liking towards addy douglas
    ¬ sees him as his person
    ¬ loyalty lies with him entirely

interaction.
⫸ storage // playlist // pinterest
⫸ physically: medium // mentally: hard
⫸ owns a pistol but finds the idea of injuring somebody very difficult
⫸ dislikes getting into physical fights as he's not very good at fighting
⫸ would much rather die than kill somebody else
⫸ TW. he is a recovering drug addict // cocaine, heroin and opioids such as morphine

[/spoiler]